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DISCLAIMER
Use only as directed, known to cause cancer in California, do not take while pregnant, no
shirt no shoes no service (women these are optional), Spoken only in ENGLISH!
Reference herein to any specific commercial products, process, or service by trade
name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, does not necessarily constitute or imply its
endorsement, recommendation, or favoring of the USMV M/C. Some assembly
required. Batteries not included. Electrocution hazard. NC17. May stain some fabrics.
This product not intended for use as dental drill. Do not expose to sunlight. Parental
discretion is advised. Do not try this at home. All stunts performed by professional actors.
Stunts performed on closed track. Not for outdoor use. Do not taunt happy fun ball.
Rubber side down. Take with food. Take with milk. Do not take with alcohol. May cause
drowsiness. Do not operate heavy machinery while taking. No animals were harmed. Be
kind-rewind. Contents may shift during shipping. Consult a physician. Harmful if
swallowed. In case of accidental ingestion, induce vomiting. May cause chemical burns.
Do not operate in standing water. No user serviceable parts inside. Choking hazard.
Objects in mirror no longer matter. Discontinue use if rash occurs. Side effects include
death, brain damage, blindness, loss of hearing, severe headache, hairy palms, anal
leakage, oily discharge, diarrhea, birth defects, and the overwhelming desire to run with
scissors in a way this is only fun until someone loses and eye, and remember its only
funny until someone gets hurt, then it is just hilarious. Side effects may also include the
uncontrollable need to round up every soccer mom with a mini van and blind spots the
size of a U-haul and a cell phone growing out of her ear as she weaves from lane to lane
without a glance or signal and then tie each one to a herd of wild moose by the ankles so
they can drag her down the asphalt at about 60 miles per hour– just so that for one brief
moment she might come close to understanding the danger you face ………
EVERY F#*CKIN DAY!!!!
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